"Have a good one!"

For some reason, "Have a good one!" rubs me the wrong way, as goodbyes go. Have a good what?! It just sounds so vague, and cheesy, and insincere somehow. The problem, though, is that I hear myself saying this to customers every now and then. I know it's because several of my coworkers say it to everyone. And it rubs off on me. This has happened to me other times, and in different ways - pronouncing things the same way as my college roommate, picking up phrases, making the same faces that I see friends make day after day... I suppose it's just what happens when you spend a significant amount of time with a person, whether you want it to or not.

Only, I also find that I try to fit in with people I am spending a lot of time with. I don't really want to be "fitting in" if it means that I am trying to fit in with what they expect of me. For example: everyone else in the world! (or at least, everyone I work with) drinks. I will remind you that 90% of my coworkers are students at a large university in a fairly rural setting. Anyway, today at work there was a wine and cheese tasting, which brought up the topic of alcohol. A coworker was going on about how she wanted to buy some hard cider after work, and maybe she'd hit up the wine samples and pick up a bottle. Another coworker was telling me about the desire she had had all day to have some alcohol. I just sort of agreed with them, about how nice the hard cider sounded, or how yeah, that's strange, that desire you get to have a little drinky drink. But I don't drink, and I somehow felt like telling them this would make them think I was bizarre and unworthy as a friend. Hmmm.

Another situation which is strange, I think, and can be quite awkward if one is not well practiced, is small talk. I flipflop between hating small talk and wishing people could just make transactions without mentioning the weather, and appreciating the little things people can find in common with one another. But like these other "fitting-in" scenarios, I sometimes find myself conversing with strangers about something that I care very little about - - with great enthusiasm. The customer leaves, with a smile on his or her face, and I think to myself, "Where did all that come from?" Today I almost felt like I was watching myself interact with someone from outside my body, and hearing myself discuss topics I would normally never think of, and I wondered who exactly I was, and what exactly defines me.

Promo

This morning I went into work, and my manager told me that instead of waiting til next week, she wanted to talk to me, "now."
So I went over to her little "office" which is really a desk behind a wall behind customer service behind the check out area of the store, so it's not very enclosed. She started off, "I know we talked about interviewing for the supervisor position, but I talked to my front end staff, and..." I immediately prepared myself to hear her say that they didn't think I was a good fit, or that they had chosen someone from outside the store, who would be a perfect supervisor. But she went on, "and we decided to hire you and your coworker the promotion, and give you each one of the nights to supervise, so that we will have more people to cover shifts if one of the other supervisors needs a vacation or the night off."
Nice!!! So, I get a promotion, and more money, and more responsibility, yay, and don't have to worry about competing with my coworker.
Except that a few hours later, I was standing at my register next to a girl who has worked at the store for almost a year, and who was complaining about needing her review. After which she would receive a small raise. Our boss had promised all week to do the review with her, and today is the end of the week. And she walked out, without even a mention of the review. Which pissed this girl off, understandably.
Thennn my fellow promotee came in on his day off to pick up a pay check and some food, and said to me, "Hey! Did you hear the news?? I even bought a bottle of wine to celebrate!" and then left.
So my register mate turned to me and asked what he was talking about, and I explained that the two of us were being trained to be supervisors. Her face changed from curious to cold and angry. She was like, "Really. That is surprising." I had someone at my register, so I turned to help them, and when I turned around again, she was still looking shocked, and told me just how surprising it was that they'd decided to promote the two of us, when we had both just started there. "Especially him!" she said. "He is so negative about getting things done at closing time! I can't believe they would do that..."
Clearly she was upset that she had never become a supervisor after all the time she has put in there, but what was I supposed to do? The job was posted on the board in the staff room for all to see, and all to apply for. If she didn't look at it, whose fault is that? Certainly not mine. I just stood there in front of her, unsure what I was supposed to say, and unclear whether she realized that she was making me feel bad for something I had been pretty pleased about. So instead of responding, I just... awkwardly walked down to the other side of the room and helped someone else bag up their stuff.

Inside Competition

Earlier this week, when I got to work, my boss told me to look at the posting for a job that she will be interviewing for this coming week. If I was interested, she told me, she would love to talk to me. Since I am already experienced with the goings on for the front of the store. It would be nice because a) it is a supervisor position, and the responsibility would make me feel better about working there, instead of just being a cashier, and b) it would be more money.
Anyway, I was pleased that she thought of me, and checked out the job description. Then my coworker, who is one of, I think, three of us who are not full time students at the University, saw our boss walk by and told her he'd read the posting, and would love to interview. And she was like, "Alight, cool. So I have both of you to look forward to for interviews." And he looked and me and sort of sized me up... like, "Oh, she's not going to just hand me this job?"
The next day, on a quiet moment, he asked me if I'd had any managerial experience, which would be a plus for the job. I said, "Hmmm, I don't know... why, have you?" Because I haven't, and I didn't want to tell him that. He has had one job that was being a manager, but I don't think it was at a very big operation, so... whatever. And I did end up telling him that I hadn't. And then he continued to try to discuss the job with me, and with another one of our supervisors, asking what she thought would be good traits to possess. I didn't really see the merit in talking about it with him, so I just kept making jokes about it. Like the fact that my supervisor and I were once again wearing the same colors on the same night being a qualification for the job. You know... being in sync with my peers.
Anyway... I would definitely like the job. But I don't know how the interview is going to go, and it would really be a bummer, and kind of a blow to my confidence if this guy ends up getting the job. Is it mean to hope that if I don't get it, than someone from outside the store will be hired?

On a side note, I have been looking up my coworkers on facebook. Most of them are in the same network as I am, so I can see their profiles. But I haven't friended any of them, even though I do like a lot of them, because I noticed that they aren't already friends with all our other coworkers. So maybe it's just not a thing they do. But, this one girl and I share a common friend, who I went to school with for one year, and this girl must know her from home/highschool. I would love to say, hey, do you know x? But then she would be confused as to why I was bringing it up... Is it awkward to stalk my coworkers? Oh well.

Secret Love Affair

I am not sure if this qualifies as totally awkward, but I found it amusing.
At work last week, I heard two of my coworkers discussing movie times, and I almost asked what movie they were going to see and jumping in on that conversation, but then it occurred to me that they may be discussing a date. And I wondered why exactly they were discussing plans for their first date at a register with a bunch of people milling around. Plus, the girl is a freshman of sophomore in college and the guy graduated last year or the year before. I guess that's not too much of a gap.
Anyway, the next night, I was working with the guy, and our supervisor was asking him if he could stay late. He was like, "Oh, no, you know usually, I would, but you know, tonight is just one of those nights I'd have to turn you down. I mean, I actually have plans tonight, so it just wouldn't work out. I'm sorry, but I can't help you out." He clearly was hoping our supervisor would ask what his plans were, and when she did, I discovered that the conversation I'd overheard was, in fact, about a date. But even though he went on for the rest of the night about his date, he wouldn't tell anyone who it was with! But I knew!!! So I thought that was funny.
A few days later, I was working with the girl, and the guy came in for his shift, and neither of them seemed sure how to act around each other, even though they had been pretty chatty in the past... Today, for example, the only register open when the girl got to work was the one right next to the guy, and they hardly talked at all as they stood there.
I suppose it doesn't really mean the date went poorly, though. It could simply be that they don't want people to know they are dating? Or, they don't know how to go back to being coworkers, cashier/bagger, now that they have so much more? Hahahaha. Who knows! But so it's a little bit awkward, but not so much for me. Just that I heard the initial plans for the date, and I feel like no one else knows about it, so I am in on a secret...