Long Ago and Far Away

Due to lack of other activities, I have decided to pull from my vault of awkward moments and make a post.

I was wandering through the New Jersey airport on my way from Paris to Vermont last year, looking for the right place to sit down with my book and a cup of coffee. On one of the moving sidewalks, I saw a girl going the opposite direction on the moving sidewalk right next to me. She looked familiar, but I couldn't quite place her before she was behind me. Then I realized that she had lived on my floor for the last semester of college. I wasn't going to go out of my way to talk to her because I didn't even know her, but I did think to myself that it was a funny coincidence that were were in such close proximity in the same airport, etc. But then she came back from her food run and sat down in the gate area next to me, which got me thinking about whether or not we should speak to each other. I know my mother would definitely have gone over to her, or my sister, but I just didn't see the point. Aside from living on the same floor as her, I didn't know anything about her, and I imagined the conversation would go like this:

Me: Hi! I think you lived on my floor last year!
Girl: I guess so!
Me: What a small world!
Girl: Well I live in New Jersey.
Me: Okay! How is school?
Girl: Great. I am happy for the break.
Me: Okay. Well bye!

I just generally do not like small talk, or maybe I'm not good at it, but I figured if I spent two years at a small school with this girl, and one semester on the same floor of a small dorm with her, and we never shared so much as a good morning while brushing our teeth, why would we have anything to share in a bustling airport during the holidays?


Now this has reminded me of a far more excruciating scenario, also at an airport. In March of my senior year at college, I was heading off to Spring Break in Atlanta! I was departing from the small airport near school, which was bound to be sending off some of my classmates as well. Because it was a day early, and in the morning, it wasn't too busy. Of course, as soon as I got in line for my flight, I noticed that I was standing two people behind a girl who shared not only my major, but also my minor. Forgive me, I think this is going to be pretty convoluted. In order to fully appreciate the awkwardness, there is some necessary back story. But also know that the majority of the awkwardness (/anxiety) was only in my head.

We had been in basically all of the same classes since sophomore year (probably three out of four classes per semester). First semester sophomore year, we even worked on a group presentation together. We talked to each other while we were working on the project, but then when I would see her around campus it seemed like we weren't going to be buds. Which is fine, she had a different "circle of friends" if you will: the rugby team, and I had, well, glee club people. As semesters went by and we continued to be in the same small classes, we still never spoke around campus. Or even in class, because neither one of us participated very much in the discussions. So then I was like, well, that's funny, we should probably be friends because we clearly have similar academic interests, and we are both not into public speaking. Oh! Junior year I went to a party in her room, which was oh so awkward because I am not big into parties, not into small talk, and not into situations where I don't know anyone. This was one of those situations. I went with my friend who had to pick something up, and we were supposed to go somewhere else from the party. She knew everyone, and got sucked into conversations, and I just stood there like a loser. By senior year we were not friends, and it was like, it was too late to strike up a casual conversation, because we knew each other, but we didn't, you know?

So Spring Break comes along, this girl is standing in front of me with her girlfriend, and I realize we are going to be on the same flight. Neither of us acknowledges this fact, and as the airline attendant calls people forward to step onto the plane, I start imagining my seat being directly next to these other girls. What would I do? Surely we would be forced to say something, or at the very least make eye contact with each other. If we were both by ourselves, I think it would have been easier (or maybe more necessary) to say something to each other. Like, hey, that midterm we had this morning was fun. But I didn't want to interrupt them, and they had each other as an excuse to ignore me. As I board the plane, one of the last people, I quickly but carefully scan the plane for their faces, and spot them in the very back. My seat is safely in the middle, the flight is short, and I've just used the airport's restroom, which means I won't have to pass them to get to the restroom. I can relax!